“stay with me”
The words ripple, soothingly; dripping with soporific ambition. Mesmeric wave upon wave of verbal kisses on the forehead. That placid voice, synonymous in my psyche with protection, rising godlike in its ever-abounding professions. Awed and humbled, I relax back momentarily into the welcoming embrace of familiarity, letting habitual trances snake their way through repetition of gently undulating thoughts.
“just stay with me”
The timbre of that voice weaves a great net of protection to cradle me, and guide me gently and safely back here, like I’m something precious and fragile, like maybe I’m something worth saving. The silvery liquid of those words from above have buried me so deep, and in this viscous womb, clensed all curiosity from me. My thickened lungs have forgotten how to breathe in the waking world. And yet, and yet, this eternal slumber is both the prize and the price of keeping me safe, and for that I am endebted. It no longer matters how we got here, does it?
Other voices float on past, tethered to driftwood, rippling the mirrored surface above me. Tenuously stirring something gruesome that’s slumbering in my mind. Nothing issuing from those chaotic mouths could hope to drag me from this ocean floor. Nothing out there could scratch the surface of an insular existence so wholesome.
“pay no mind what other voices say”
A mere twitch of the eyelash before I’m settling once again into the rich silt of our haven. I’ve been saved for so long from the “poison devils” of truth, choice and pain, but even so the cycles of sleep bear me periodically towards the surface. That dangerous sedated creature inside my mind, suddenly thirsting to drink in the air of consciousness, I hear the voice again.
“pay no mind to the rabble ”
I’ve been floating here so long, treading water, ignorant and safe, that temptation to entrust threatens to overwhelm. Like Ophelias last moments, I watch the surface undulate before my eyes. It’s not voices that pull at me now, as for the first time, they blur and merge onto a cacophony of torrents, nothing but counterpoint to some new strange sensation. As my fingers lazily skim the surface, I feel a shuddering chill of fear as the spell is broken; the billowing dread of the unknown floods in. It’s like I’m wide awake and drowning in those words, so recently pacifying. The searing pain of wrenching my psyche inside-out from the other world almost has me back at those feet, begging forgiveness, but this time, maybe this time, I could learn to swim.
Precious. I know how you only tried.
But you can’t save me from myself.
This was a techical exercise I set myself; drawing out the lyrics of a song into a descriptive short story. Of sorts. I mean, I’ve more or less got the descriptive bit down but teasing it out into a coherent story…that’s going to take practise!
Here’s the song in case you don’t know it.